When I say that reading the blog post linked below will make you laugh and cry, I am not exaggerating in the least. If you don’t laugh so hard you cry, there is probably something wrong with you. This blogger just made my daily reading list with one funky, nasty, angry post. Do yourself a favor and read this, please. (not for the faint at heart)
(Posted on Angry 365 Days a Year via Salon.com)
A short sample of the text:
A simplified medical description of the drug is that it’s a fat blocker. It stops your body from absorbing some of the fat in your diet. It doesn’t burn calories. But fat that would have otherwise been absorbed by your body… isn’t. Because fat contains calories less calories will go into your body.
But here’s the most important thing the drug does: it makes you shit oil. Worse, it makes you shit your pants. With oil. This is not the ravings of some fringe conspiracy group, this is what the company tells you itself on its website. Buy our drug if you want to lose weight. Oh, by the way, you’ll end up shitting your pants.
Technorati Tags: human_nature, health, humor, drugs, strange, science
I’ve become very interested in side effects recently. I have to take three types of medication a day.
Med 1 side effects
fine hand tremor
dry mouth
altered taste perception
weight gain
increased thirst
increased frequency of urination
mild nausea or vomiting
impotence
decreased libido
diarrhea
kidney abnormalities
Med 2 side effects
Nausea
Dizziness
Sleepiness
Abnormal ejaculation
Sweating
Dry mouth
Gas
Abnormal vision
Nervousness
Insomnia
Loss of appetite
Constipation
Confusion/agitation
Tremor
Yawning
Palpitation
Med 3 side effects
Difficulty in sleeping (insomnia)
Headache
Concentration disturbance
Tremor
Dizziness
Anxiety and agitation
Depression
Dry mouth
Disturbances of the gut such as constipation, nausea, vomiting or abdominal pain
Fever (pyrexia)
Sweating
Rash or itching
Increased heart rate (tachycardia)
Increased blood pressure
Loss of appetite
Visual disturbances
Chest pain
Seizures
Hypersensitivity reactions such as narrowing of the airways (bronchospasm), swelling of the lips, throat and tongue (angioedema), itchy blistering rash or anaphylactic shock
I say bring on the shitting oil if that’s the worst it throws at you.
Yes, I’ll take the oil shitting over ‘narrowing of the airways’ and ‘itchy blistering rash,’ thank you. Furthermore, define ‘abnormal’? No wait, don’t!
Steve
I have to say there is a big difference between I have to take, and WOW this is a great new drug, sign me up! Crapping oil would be horrible! I wonder if it could be the solution to the worlds fuel problem… the NEW biodiesel is born!
Great post! I have not laughed this hard in recent memory!
would that mean you’d have to keep naked flames away from your anus?
Another alli rant here on my blog (GracefulFlavor). As you might guess, I don’t take too kindly to this sort of sham.
This drug is a trainwreck. Despite the press and clever packaging, I give this thing six months, tops, before it fades into sunset as a cheap consumer exploit.
Funny how things that intentionally make you incontinent do that.
Thank God I’m normal. I felt a little bit of pressure clicking on the link for fear of not laughing, but happy to report that I laughed my ass off. I laughed so hard, it hurt. Thanks for the pain, I always enjoy visiting your blog.
Steve Herder
Brad, and Rob: Thanks for keeping the laughs going. Can never have too many poo-poo jokes;-)
Jeff: Huge honor to have you stop by and comment, as I’m a huge fan of your blogging style. Just finished reading your post. Very well done! Nice work weaving the big, ugly, provocative issues in with the comic relief. I’ll link it in a separate blog entry to make it more visible to folks not monitoring the comments here.
Steve H: Great to see you back online. I had a quiet month there myself, but had to get back on the horse to regain my sanity!
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